Things You Should Never Tell Yourself #2: I Can’t Change

We are all unique beings. We each have our own ways of thinking about things, dealings with emotions, learning, etc. Where does our uniqueness come from? Is it shaped by our genetics? Our environment? Our upbringing? The short answer is: yes. Our uniqueness comes from all these things. Our thoughts, behaviors, and decisions are based on what we have observed, learned, and been exposed to. But one other factor (perhaps the most important one) also influences these traits: our choices.

We make so many choices each and every day it is easy to lose sight of the impact they can have on our lives. That choice to have a second helping of dessert becomes a habit. The choice to stay home and not be social becomes a fear of rejection. Small choices we make each day shape who we are a month, a year, even a decade from now. With that in mind isn’t it important to consider the choices we make more carefully?

When you become accustomed to a certain choice, a certain way of thinking, a certain routine, you are subconsciously giving up your freedom. Not to some dictator or jailer, but to your own darker nature. Wake up! The subconscious mind is for dreams and instincts not for the daily living of life!

Consider yourself as you are right now. Do you see your life, who you are, to be the result of your choices? Are you happy with who you are? Do you want to change into something better? Because you can. Here’s how:

  1. Make your decisions conscious choices. Move out of the realm of the subconscious and make everything you do deliberate. This will help you realize your bad habits and start you down the path towards good habits. Good habits you deliberately chose for yourself.
  2. Stop viewing your problems as someone else’s fault. Even if they were caused by someone else, do you really think that person is going to fix them? The odds say no. So make the decision to stop feeling sorry for yourself and change. Leave the blame in the past and focus on changing yourself for the better.
  3. Remember you are a new person each day. Take the day as a fresh start to making your life better. Maybe you didn’t do so well yesterday. Well yesterday is in the past friend. Take the consequences of the past and learn from them.

When you make a deliberate effort to change who you are, it doesn’t come “naturally.” Your old self resists. It wants to get into a routine so it doesn’t have to grow, or experience discomfort or pain. So remember to keep your goal in mind. Keep it at the front of your thoughts. Take it to heart. Through hard work and a good attitude you can do better and be better.

Thanks to D. for giving me the inspiration for this post!


2 thoughts on “Things You Should Never Tell Yourself #2: I Can’t Change

  1. Great post and all of it is so true! I have been working towards having a more positive attitude and realizing that I have a choice in life – a choice to be happy or a choice to be miserable. I choose to be happy and am working on pushing those negative thoughts out of my mind, start each day as a fresh start and realize the choices I make today will lead to a better tomorrow if I let them. As you so greatly remind me in this post – I need to “keep my goal in mind” and keep on going no matter how tough things get. Thanks!

    1. Your most welcome! I too have found myself often falling into apathy or just passive acceptance of the things around me. Its a battle to keep reminding myself that in order to accomplish anything I have to get off my butt and take action!

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